Better Than Ever: 5 Tips to Keep A Relationship Strong.
Keep the fire burning and boredom at bay with these five tips for a strong, long lasting relationship.
This is not the same as talking at your partner. Bombarding your other half with a list of the 101 things that were difficult about your day, or the three dozen chores that need doing before you can sit down is not communication.
For regular day-to-day, task related conversations, schedule in a ten minute catch up at the kitchen table (similar to a work team briefing). This gives you the opportunity to share your mental to-do list and move on with enjoying the rest of your time together.
Communication doesn’t have to be all spoken. Find other effective systems to communicate, such as a shared calendar so you can see each other’s plans.
You are different people and that’s OK. The little quirks in your partner’s behaviour may have been attractive at the outset, but with time and familiarity they can become tiresome. Stop negative thinking in its tracks by reminding yourself why you fell for them in the first place and appreciating that it’s our differences that make us unique.
You also need to accept that over time you will both change. This is not a sign that you are growing apart, or that you are no longer suited. It is natural that life experiences and the wisdom that comes with them will gently shape the person you are and the same will be happening to your partner. Embrace these changes as they represent personal growth.
Badly managed finances can be just as damaging to a relationship as infidelity.
Some couples split all the bills 50:50, others pay in a proportion of their income, and some just throw all their income into one big pot.
However, you prefer to arrange your finances, the key is to make a plan that you both agree with and stick to it. Sit down together and write out your income and expenditure, any savings goals you have, assets you own and debts you owe. Agree how income and expenditure will be managed, then arrange a regular monthly meeting where you can openly discuss your financial situation.
Even when you have no money worries at all and your finances are running smoothly, stick to this regular schedule of meetings. Having a dedicated time to discuss money will help prevent arguments and frees up your leisure time to concentrate on more fun activities.
Be loyal to your partner in what you think, what you say and how you act. Banish negative thoughts and don’t burden your friends with relationship gripes. Moaning about your partner to a friend may feel like a weight off your chest initially, but this partner-bashing breeds negativity and undermines your relationship. How would you feel if you found out a friend had been criticising you like this? Think positive things about your partner, notice the best in them and don’t talk about them behind their back.
It’s impossible to accept the love your partner is offering you, if you don’t first love yourself. Be responsible for your own happiness. Make time to do the things you enjoy. Time apart pursuing your own personal interest is just as important in a healthy relationship as time spent together.
A long term romance requires energy, time and thoughtfulness, but this effort is far out-weighed by the benefits to be gained from being in a loving, mutually-respectful relationship.