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(Image Source: Courtney Carmody)
Don’t balk at the first sign of reticence, he could just be a slow starter or a little shy. But if you rack up a handful of these warnings, it’s time to part ways, and look for someone who will reciprocate your love and affection.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of texts, emails, or occasional hook-up calls, but no real meaningful time together, there’s a good chance this relationship won’t get airborne.
Someone this non-committal may be keeping you warm as a back-up plan, or may not be able to deliver the bad news that he won’t be taking it further. Either way, it’s best you take the initiative and move on.
If you met on a free online dating site and are having difficulty moving the relationship into the real world, this could be a case of shyness rather than disinterest. There’s no need to wait for him to make the first move, after all it is 2014. Put your neck on the line and ask for a real-life meet-up. If he doesn’t grasp the opportunity, then stop wasting your time tapping out messages to him, and focus on finding a new mate.
Once you’ve finally met up, he should show the common courtesy of avoiding mentioning his ex. If she frequently makes it into the conversation, this is not a good sign. Give him one last chance of redemption by speaking up for yourself, telling him that talking about his ex makes you feel uncomfortable. He may be nervous and not aware he is doing this. If your honesty does little to interrupt his diatribe about his previous relationship, he is clearly not ready to be dating you.
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If a guy tells you he is not ready for a relationship, then you choose to get intimate with him, hoping this will change his mind, you may get hurt. In his eyes, his disclosure allows him to get physical with full moral immunity, and your continued interest in him will be interpreted as your acceptance of the situation. If you are happy to go with the flow, with no promise of a long-term relationship, go ahead. But if you are hoping to use your body to trap him emotionally, think again.
Keeping your relationship hush-hush in the early stages is sensible and even a little sexy. But if he avoids meeting your friends and family and continues keeping you from his loved ones, even after your romance is established, it may be because he doesn’t see you as a player in his long term future.
Leaving the room to take a call may be good manners, but if he’s overprotective about his phone, always keeps it with him, or won’t let you touch it you may have a problem. Either he’s an international spy (and sexy as that may sound, on a practical level dating someone who can disappear at a moment’s notice is challenging), or he’s juggling a few too many ladies at once.
Above all, trust your instincts. If thinking of him makes you all warm and fuzzy inside, but spending time with him leaves you feeling cold and unwanted, this isn’t the man for you.