Now you’ve overcome the enormous hurdle of arranging that first date, it’s time to turn your attention to the nerve-jangling question of what to talk about. Memorise this mental check-list of subjects to swerve to avoid your date descending into boredom or ending in an argument.
1. Your Single Status
The person you are meeting already knows you are single. You don’t need to talk about how past loves slipped through your fingers, or that until now you’ve been knee-deep in work. It is not a subject that requires discussion, or even acknowledgement.
There’s no need to explain why you are still single. Doing so will make your date feel uncomfortably pressured to do the same.
[wp_ad_camp_1]
2. Other Dates
There is no good way to discuss other dates you went on. Talk about the dates in a favourable way and the person with you right now will feel inadequate and jealous. Ruthlessly besmirch previous matches and your current date will be fearful of the same fate, constantly wondering what flaws you are noticing that you will crow about later.
3. Religion
The norm is to refrain from religious matters when making polite conversation. However, for many singles, shared religious belief is an important factor when finding a compatible mate. If you’d like to discuss God, the Universe and the Great Unknown with your date, try hooking up with someone from a common interest dating site specialising in your religion. If you discover during the course of the date the other person differs in their religious viewpoint, move on from the subject. Now is not the time to attempt a religious conversion.
4. Your Specialist Subject
Just like every great mastermind, you have your own personal specialist subject that you know inside and out. Besides a brief mention of your interests, leave this subject alone. Your enthusiasm may get away from you, and before you know it, you’re regaling your date with data, statistics, records and the latest news on a subject matter that bores them rigid.
5. Marriage / Kids / White Picket Fences
You’re on a date. It’s pretty obvious that your long term plans involve a relationship. There is no need to talk about your amazing wedding Pinterest boards, names of your unborn children, or plans for a home-made chic decor. Those are not conversation topics – they are red flags that you are moving too fast.
[wp_ad_camp_2]
6. Money
There is no way to talk about money, salary or worldly goods without sounding ridiculous. From sanctimonious penny pincher to audacious spendthrift, wherever you sit on the money management spectrum, keep it to yourself. Be wary of a date who repeatedly brings the conversation back to the subject of money. It’s not your beautiful eyes and stunning smile they are interested in.
7. Politics
As with religion, unless you have selected your date based on their personal beliefs, consider this to be a no-go area. Politics is a conversational mine-field. If your are speaking with someone more news-savvy that yourself, chances are anything you say will sound tired and trite in comparison to their own political musings. On the other hand, if you offer your political opinion to someone with no personal interest in the subject you will come across as a terminal bore. Either way, your Newsnight-inspired chat, is unlikely to result in a second date.
In addition to avoiding these conversational exclusion zones, there is a simple technique you can use to help keep the date flowing smoothly. Listen attentively to your date, and ask them questions relevant to the topic they are discussing, thus relieving you of the pressure to take the conversational helm.