Dating Disaster? Should I Give it Another Chance? It was the date from hell! The second hand on the clock ticked by so slowly you felt like eons had passed. Or maybe you dribbled red wine down the front of your cream dress, then became so absorbed in your self-consciousness that you totally failed to keep up with the conversation. Perhaps you, or they, or both of you, had a few too many drops of Dutch courage, and ended the date sliding out of a taxi, before your flatmate dragged you back in through the front door.
There are lots of ways a first date could go disastrously wrong. Let’s not dwell on them here, lest you be put off dating all together.
Sometimes, when you’ve suffered a dating fail, the best thing to do is log on to your favourite free dating site and hunt out another single to start afresh with. Other times though, the right thing to do is to look past the mishaps and circumstances, and give your disastrous date a second chance.
Here’s the signals you should look out for when deciding whether to go for it again.
The Real Person vs Digital Person
Before you arranged to meet in person, you probably spent some time chatting online. And you must’ve liked the personality demonstrated in digital format or you wouldn’t have chosen to go on a date. Now maybe you are considering that the real-life date was the ‘real’ them, and the person presented to you via the Internet was not, and so there is no future in the relationship. What if the truth was the other way around? What if, while safely ensconced in their home, tapping away at the keyboard, the other person is so relaxed you get a glimpse at their real personality, then while on the date they became so nervous they tried to be someone they’re not.
If you noticed a contrast between the person you chatted to online and the person you met on the date, call it out and find out what went wrong. Ask what setting will work best for them, and arrange to meet for a second time. You may find they are reassured by being given a second chance, are more relaxed, and you both have a much better time.
You Enjoyed 90% Of The Date
If you enjoyed 90% of the date, but one mishap or unfortunate comment put a dampener on things, don’t give up on them immediately. No-one is perfect and we all say things that are regrettable occasionally. Also consider the timing of the unfortunate event. Most likely it happened at the end of the date and has clouded your judgement about everything that went on before it. But what if it had occurred right at the start of the date. They would have had the opportunity to redeem themselves over the next couple of hours and you would be feeling much more positive about the prospects for the relationship.
It’s You That Messed Up
If you messed up on the date, and now would rather crawl into a hole and die of shame than return their calls or messages, maybe you should give yourself a break. You’re only human, and if your date can see past your flaws and still wants to see you again, they sound like a keeper. If they’re prepared to give you a second chance, you should take it.
Not all relationships start off with a romantic first date and love at first sight. If your first date was a total disaster, don’t write-off the partnership immediately. And if you do stay together, you will have a great story to tell the grandchildren about what happened when you first met.