A date has decided how attracted they are to you within the first 3 seconds of seeing. This may seem harsh, but it’s a scientifically proven fact. Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania studied the outcomes of speed dating meetings and found that attractiveness was judged on factors that became known in the first 3 seconds of the start of the date. The psychologists also found that the decision was not determined by the most obvious contributors to attractiveness, such as income, education and religious beliefs. Instead decisions were made on a more instinctive level. Even if you don’t tick all the typical boxes for desirability, love will still find you.
In 2006 a study conducted by Marco Francesconi and Michèle Belot found that when deciding whether or not they found a woman attractive, her age was the most important factor considered by men. To a lesser extent women also used the age of their date as an important determining factor.
In the same study it was revealed women place great importance on the height of a man, with his desirability decreasing at a rate of 5% for every inch lost in height.
If you are tempted to bluff about your age or height when filling out your free online dating profile, think again. Any dates you attract are unlikely to overlook the reality they are confronted with when you meet for the first time.
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Single people often have a mental checklist of the features and attributes they are looking for in their ideal partner. Speed dating events and online dating websites often use the results from questionnaires based on these checklists to match up compatible singles. But before you become too dependent on this logical approach, take a moment to consider the work of Malcolm Gladwell. In Blink, his book about decisions made in a split-second, he takes a look at research around speed dating. Dr Raymond Fisman and Dr Sheena Iyengar found that what people stated they wanted in a partner did not correspond with who they found attractive. In short, their subconscious preferences did not match the features they consciously believed were important.
You can apply this when looking for love online by being less methodical and more heartfelt with your screening process. When browsing through online profiles, ignore your mental checklist and tune in to your inner instinct.
A study into the cell phone use habits of Americans has revealed some disturbing statistics, with 9% admitting they have used a mobile phone while having sex. If you thought being ignored in favour of a ringing phone mid-conversation was rude, imagine your partner chatting to their mum / friend / boss while you’re both in bed.
Outside the bedroom, constant phone use is even more prevalent. In the same study 1 in 3 respondents had used their phone during a dinner date.
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Before setting out on a date it’s a good idea to make your intentions regarding mobile phones clear. You can make a joke out of the situation by setting a challenge: first person to check their phone pays for the date. Alternatively make a point of turning your phone off.
If you find yourself on a date with a mobile phone addict, give them a chance to correct their behaviour. They may not realise their constant engagement in a screen is rude, so tell them (politely) that you are feeling neglected. If they continue to text, tweet or chat, it’s time to make your excuses and go. Or just leave, as they most likely won’t even notice you’ve gone, until they attempt to take a selfie with you.
