This may sound counter-intuitive, but you may not be the best person to choose your dates.
Now if you were going to buy a pair of shoes, you wouldn’t wait in a coffee shop while your friend picks out a nice pair, hoping they fit your feet, as well as theirs. If you are going on holiday, you don’t give your friends free reign to choose the destination. These are important decisions, and as you are the person who will enjoy / endure the outcome, then it is you who does the choosing. So surely the same is true when it comes to dating.
Maybe not. Let’s take a look at the evidence shall we?
How many of your previous date selections did you make without the help, input or guidance of your friends? And how did that turn out for you?
If you want a different outcome, it’s time to take a different approach.
So let’s take a look at some good reasons to call in some backup.
1. What You Really Want
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What we say we want and what we really want are very different things. When completing a checklist of desirable attributes and features in a date, we can all too easily fall into a pattern of ticking the boxes we think we should tick. Whether it’s physique, age group, faith or profession, we are more likely to conform to the expectations society, friends and family have for us, than go with our instincts. Your friends will be able to see behind all that and uncover the attributes that really matter to you.
2. Lessons From The Past
Your friends have witnesses past date choices, relationships and the resulting fallout. Without being embroiled in the heart-ache, from their point of relative neutrality, they will have observed a pattern of the type of person you typically date and the effect that has on your relationships. They can change the pattern by choosing someone you wouldn’t normally consider dating.
3. Raise Your Expectations
Do you find yourself looking at other singles, then dismissing the idea of approaching them because they are out of your league? Your friends choices will not be influenced by your cripplingly low self-esteem so they will suggest singles you would have screened out. Real mates won’t set you up for a guaranteed fail, so put your faith in them and follow their suggestions.
4. Additional Manpower
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When you are a member of a free online dating site, you can browse through hundreds (potentially thousands) of profiles of single people from the comfort of your own home. There is just one snag. Time. There are so many profiles to sift through it could take a while to nail down a few contenders. Set your friends loose on your account to discover out some potential matches fast.
5. Character First
Your friends are likely to put having a good personality, and being of sound character, above personal appearance. When your friends pick a date for you, they have already vetted the person for character and personality, so you can concentrate on finding out whether you find them physically attractive. When you pick the date you could become so easily distracted by their dreamy eyes, you forget to look a little deeper and fail to notice their character and personality at all.
A final word of caution. Whilst it is a great idea to let your mates choose your date, don’t let them actually ask the date out on your behalf. You are not 12 and this is not a playground. Nobody wants to hear ‘my mate thinks you’re sexy but he / she is too shy to come over here’.