The first kiss with a new partner can feel like a make-or-break moment in a budding relationship. You can allay your nerves a little with these top preparation tips. Please keep in mind that these only apply for those first tentative smooches. Once you’ve passed that initial awkward phase, don’t feel restricted by this how-to guide – freestyle your kissing action.
Bad breath, yellow teeth, dinner remnants, chapped lips, any of these could make your date recoil in horror. Do your prep before you get into a potential kissing situation. Brushing, flossing and mouthwash are all mandatory.
You can get your lips soft and lush with a simple homemade scrub. Rub a pinch of sugar with some warm water in the palm of your hand and gently use your fingertips to smoosh it over your lips, in gentle circular motions. Then rinse. Then a slick of lip balm or petroleum jelly. This should be done a minimum of two hours before you intend to kiss so your lips don’t feel greasy.
This is a moment to be savoured not rushed. Make the head tilt slow so your partner can figure out which direction you are going in. This prevents painful and embarrassing nose bumping.
Try to avoid pursing your lips in anticipation. You’ll look like a hungry goldfish and remind them of their bristly ancient great-aunt.
Don’t lunge in for a kiss without any warning. There needs to have been some intimacy beforehand, shared eye contact, hand-holding, sparkling conversation. Enjoying each other’s company will show the desire to kiss is based on more than just a randy reaction to the other person’s physical appearance – which some might find shallow and creepy.
Please remember you are not a horse. Have you ever watched a horse eat? They’re all tongue, teeth and dribble. In your enthusiasm, try not to chew the face off your partner. Accidental lip nibbling, teeth clashing, excess saliva and forceful tongues are m-a-j-o-r turn-offs.
You cannot jump from hand holding to full on, with-tongues kissing, while frantically groping every square inch of your partner’s body. It may look hot in the movies, but in real life it is a recipe for disaster. Master one thing at a time. Gentle kisses on the lips first. Then add the tongue. Then you can use your hands. Otherwise your partner will feel like they are being assaulted by an overly affectionate octopus.
Touch your partner affectionately but not somewhere too intimate. Too much frisky hand moving will distract them from the kissing, and may alarm them if you are moving too fast. Don’t keep changing the location of your hands or their mind will be constantly trying to second guess where you headed next.
Finally, honestly really is the best policy. Acknowledge your feelings. Tell them you want to kiss, and maybe that you are also feeling nervous and excited. This honesty will increase the intimacy between you. Your partner is probably feeling the same way, so they will feel a sense of relief when you share how you feel. If they are freaked out by your authenticity, it’s better to find out now as they may not a great person to be building a relationship with anyway.