Funny, clever, or self-depreciating and delivered with a flourish, some chat-up lines have the potential to be the start of a beautiful relationship.
Others however will earn you nothing more than a slap round the face.
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It may be touted as an important step when playing the Game, but delivering a put down, before following up with a compliment should not be your arsenal of dating tactics. Any self-respecting lady will completely ignore these lines.
1. I’m not the best looking guy here, but I am the only talking to you.
2. You look lovely through beer goggles.
3. I think I’m drunk but I know you are beautiful.
4. When you fell from heaven, did you hurt yourself? It looks like you landed face first.
Guy humour is not always funny for women. You may have spent an hour guffawing with your mates creating comedic one-liners, but when directed at a woman, these will earn you nothing but a cold hard stare.
5. You blow me away…did you just fart?
6. If you were a bogey I’d pick you.
7. Want to check out my Dutch oven?
If delivered with gusto and a wry smile, these chat-up lines have the potential to be very funny. However, if a girl is offended, your clever quips have the potential to get you arrested.
Keep in mind that while these lines are risky if used in person, they are even worse if delivered digitally, for example on a free online dating site, or Facebook. Without your body language and facial expression conveying the humour, the reader is unlikely to see the funny side in these.
8. You’ve got a great smile…I’ve got a big knife, time to get your coat.
9. Roses are red; violets are blue, I’ve got a gun, so get in my car right now.
10. I’ve improved your drink with my special secret ingredient.
11. My parents told me to follow my dreams, so don’t be scared when you see me behind you on the walk home.
12. Nice feet, they would look great in my fridge, with the rest of my collection.
13. I’ve lost my kitten, could you help me look for it, in this dark abandoned building.
14. Can you smell chloroform on this rag?
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Any line focused on nakedness or sex is likely to be offensive, as is any line delivered with unrequested physical contact.
15. Ready or not, I’m getting naked in 3, 2, 1.
16. I’m a great swimmer. Can I show you my breaststroke?
17. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I try it?
The problem with cheesey lines is that even the speaker knows the line is rubbish, so instead of saying the line with ease, accompanied by a warm and inviting smile, he usually stumbles and mumbles his way through it.
18. Is your surname Jacobs, because you’re a real cracker.
19. Is your surname Taser because you’re a real stunner.
20. Is your surname Kalashnikov because you just knocked me dead.
You get the idea.
The absolute worst chat-up lines remain unfinished. There’s nothing quite so humiliating as seeing a man stride up , full of bravado, and mumble ‘your poor little feet must hurt because you have been running…oh wait, I’m gonna be sick’. So before you sink one more pint for a little liquid courage, reconsider.
